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Have you noticed that decluttering became a trend? Wherever I go, I hear or read something about it. From the Marie Kondo method to minimalistic design trends, it seems we’re starting to question consumer culture, and to have an internal dialogue about the value of stuff vs. the value of space—be it physical, emotional, or even digital.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, and even more so since reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it! It’s a very quick read, and I love the author’s brutally honest style. The main concept of the book is prioritizing what’s important to you and not giving a f*ck about the rest. It really made me re-evaluate several parts of my life, and whether I was prioritizing what really matters.
Let me start by saying that this post is more aspirational than anything else, haha. I wish I were a mega expert in organization! The truth is that I’ve always been a bit messy, and I’m learning to be more organized and strategic about what I buy/accumulate. After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” a couple of weeks ago, I’ve noticed an urge to get rid of a lot of stuff, so I want to step back for a moment and talk about the different kinds of space I’m trying to open up.
Physical clutter:
Physical clutter is the most obvious kind, and everyone has a little (or a lot) of it. My physical clutter tends to fall in one of three categories:
- Collections of something, which I probably won’t use again (like magazines)
- Clothes or products that are specific to a single activity/use
- Keepsakes from trips/experiences (coins, tickets, etc)
I may not be an organization expert, but I *am* an expert in flash-organizing before we have someone staying at our house. In half an hour, the house looks completely different! Even though it happens every time, I’m always surprised with how my anxiety goes down when everything is put away. Is that just me?
My whole life, if I didn’t know whether I’d use something again, I’d keep it. It’s that “well, what if?” mentality. Recently, I’ve found I don’t have the patience for that. If I’m not sure if I’ll use something again, I’ll recycle it or give it away. When it comes to keepsakes, I’m trying to create a system to display them in a way that’s more organized and creative. In Seoul, I found an album that’s specifically made for boarding passes, tickets, etc. That’s already made a difference!
I’ve also been giving looking at my wardrobe with a more critical lens. I’m taking out several pieces that I don’t wear often because I dislike the cut, the color, or something else. After all, what’s the point of having a wardrobe full of pieces that don’t motivate us or reflect our personality?
Emotional clutter:
This is the most dangerous category of clutter! Let it be clear that clutter and trauma are completely different things, though. Clutter, by definition, is something in excess, unnecessary, something that gets in the way, and that takes up space without adding value.
One of the parts of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” that really stuck with me is that it’s not possible to care about everything at the same time, and that caring about inconsequential/meaningless things keeps us from caring about what’s really important. Conceptually that seems pretty obvious, but in practice it’s a lot harder to implement! That negative comment someone made at work, that stranger who was rude to you at the grocery store, that email you could have answered better or differently… these little things accumulate and take up a lot of emotional bandwidth!
I’m not sure if there’s a permanent solution to this, but what I’ve been trying is: every time one of those thoughts creeps up, I consciously try to put it into perspective. Is this thing that’s bugging me really affecting the important things? Is it affecting my trajectory & well-being at home/at work/in my marriage/etc? If so, I dedicate more time to trying to solve it. If not, and if it’s something that’s already happened, I ask myself what I can learn from that situation and move on.
It’s not easy! Especially when you’re trying to fall asleep and remember something that happened years ago, or something silly that really bugs you… Of course it’s worth asking yourself why that bugs you—digging deeper and maybe finding a pattern. But it’s not constructive to be your own worst critic and thinking negatively of yourself for something that’s already in the past.
Other tools for dealing with emotional clutter:
- Therapy: the best tool of all time! I 100% believe that everyone could benefit from a little bit of therapy. It allows you to open yourself up, evaluate things from a fresh perspective, and to learn a lot about yourself.
- Self-reflection: I think a lot of our emotional clutter comes from the fact that we don’t give ourselves enough time to reflect. In this crazy world in which there’s so many different things competing for our attention, it’s even more important for us to value our time, and to intentionally dedicate time to ourselves. It could be in the shower, sitting in traffic, in bed first thing in the morning or before falling asleep… it’s important to focus not only on consuming information/content but also on reflecting about our intuitions, opinions, and emotions. Which leads me to the next category of clutter:
Digital clutter:
It’s now possible to stay connected to the rest of the world 100% of the time. On one had, that’s wonderful! I work in international relations, so for me the possibility of communicating with people in Latin America, Europe, or Asia at any given time is fundamental—and also really neat. I also love it because it makes it easier to talk to my family and friends around the world, which makes living away from my family in Brazil a tiny bit easier.
At the same time, technology has slowly crept up and dominated our time. We check our phones at a red light, waiting for the elevator, while our coffee to go is being made… It’s like we don’t know how to fill those small moments with our own thoughts. I’m super guilty of this! It’s almost involuntary—if I have some time between one thing and the next, of course I check what’s going on on Instagram. But I’ve started to be more aware of this, and to resist that impulse to check my phone.
I’ve also started to get rid of a lot of other digital clutter, which happens in various formats:
- Apps: Give your phone a bit of an edit. Do you use every single app on it? Do you receive notifications for apps you haven’t used in forever? Don’t let that take up space on your phone or our mind.
- Emails: How many newsletters do you delete before even opening? I’m unsubscribing from a lot of newsletters and brands—even brands that I enjoy, but that I don’t want to take up my time with sales, new collections, etc.
- Social Media: our feeds reflect our interests and priorities. This is true about both who we follow and what we post! Why follow that person you haven’t seen in years and whose content always makes your eyes roll into the back of your head? If you’re not comfortable unfriending or unfollowing people, hit the mute button and carry on.
- News: This is so important, and so overlooked! I’ve been living in the U.S. for the past four years, and it seems that the frequency of news updates has increased so much in recent years. It’s so easy to be sucked into a story and read every new article about every new development. In the beginning it was honestly fascinating, and it taught me so much about the U.S.’s political system. But eventually I decided that I needed to find a balance between staying informed—which is crucial—and knowing every little detail. Today, I read fewer articles and focus on highly reliable sources. I’ve noticed that’s had a tangible impact on my anxiety levels.
The recurring theme in all of these categories is that our time is extremely valuable, and that it’s not worth wasting it on objects, memories, posts, or news stories that don’t add value to our lives. I’m excited to carry out this curation in several aspects of my day! Have you been thinking about this as well? What tips do you have for decluttering?